WHAT DEFINES YOUR IDENTITY DEFINES YOUR LIFE

What Defines Your Identity?

The core of who you are. How do you describe the very essence of "you"?

As I was reading through "The Forgiveness Journal", by Lysa Terkeurst, I came across an interesting prompt that got me thinking about my own story of identity.

"Who are you? What determines your identity? What limits or frees you? What weakens or empowers you?"

Immediately following the prompt, she quotes Henry Nouwen's (a Dutch Catholic priest, professor, writer and theologian) five lies of identity:

1. I am what I have.

2. I am what I do.

3. I am what other people say or think of me.

4. I am nothing more than my worst moment.

5. I am nothing less than my best moment.

I wanted to talk to you about lie number 3.

I am what other people say or think of me.

Peter experienced the fear of man famously in Luke 22:54-62

54 Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house, and Peter was following at a distance. 55 And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. 56 Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.” 57 But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” 58 And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” 59 And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.” 60 But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. 61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” 62 And he went out and wept bitterly.

Jesus has quite a beautiful, redeeming encounter with Peter following his resurrection. Peter leaped out of a fishing boat and swam to Jesus right before this moment, and Jesus invited him to eat breakfast:

JESUS’ THREEFOLD RESTORATION OF PETER 15 When they had eaten breakfast, Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said to him, “you know that I love you.” “Feed my lambs,” he told him. 16 A second time he asked him, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord,” he said to him, “you know that I love you.” “Shepherd my sheep,” he told him. 17 He asked him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved that he asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” “Feed my sheep,” Jesus said. 18 “Truly I tell you, when you were younger, you would tie your belt and walk wherever you wanted. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and someone else will tie you and carry you where you don’t want to go.” 19 He said this to indicate by what kind of death Peter would glorify God. After saying this, he told him, “Follow me.”

For many, many years, this definition of identity consumed my very being.

I never placed my identity in material possessions, what I did for work, or being defined by my worst or best moments individually. Although, each was a symptom tied directly to a deeply set root of identity. What people said and thought about me due to these very things drug my life into internal chaos. If an anchor is so light that the waves of the ocean toss it around the bottom, the boat will violently sway and move.

My identity wasn't placed within a solid source for most of my life. It wasn't until I had a major encounter with Holy Spirit, that I truly understood where my true identity comes from.

When I was 24, I came to a place in life where I truly didn't want to continue living. Even though I'd been raised in Church my entire life, I'd been living my life to please those around me. My parents, those in leadership within the Church, my friends, etc.

I tried to do the "right" thing at every turn but often felt let down by others and by myself.

I didn't have the language for it then, but I constantly betrayed myself by never being true to who I actually was. I didn't understand why I felt chaos and confusion constantly. If I'm being honest, I felt worthless. I couldn't see how the anchor of placing my identity in what people around me said and thought about me was causing me to suffer. The enemy used that narrative to tell me I had no worth and no value.

I remember thinking God was constantly angry with me over what I had or had not done. I didn't know a God who invited me to place my identity in being His, wrapping me in His love.

I'll never forget the day I heard that still, small voice of Holy Spirit that changed the trajectory of my life forever. It was during one of the darkest days I'd ever experienced:

"If the enemy is working this hard to take you out, doesn't that mean you must be a threat to him? Doesn't that mean you must have value?"

And boy, Holy Spirit was right.

I shifted my anchor. I moved my identity from the ever-moving, ever-changing place of what others thought of me to a place of royal daughterhood. I'd been blood-bought with Jesus's sacrifice - and finally, I understood what that meant. I am a daughter of the King of Kings. God's own. Grafted into the royal family, so to speak. This shift in identity almost 8 years ago changed the entire trajectory of my life. I began actively following Jesus for the first time in my life, because I loved Him fiercely. And each year, Holy Spirit tends to the places in my heart that were formed and shaped by the fear of man and makes them new in Him. A tender process of love and transformation.

When I answered Lysa's prompt in the journal a couple of weeks ago, I was sweetly surprised to see the sureness in my answer flow from my ink pen.

"I am God's daughter. My worth is in Him. I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. He calls me beautiful, lovely, capable, reliant on Him, whole, confident."

If you've stuck around to the end of this blog, thank you for reading. I pray the Lord shows you your true identity in Him and that any lies of the enemy that have formed and shaped your identity break off in the name of Jesus.

Amen

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